Dear Grandpa
I miss you more than you will ever imagine, I know your looking down on me watching over me, I miss our talks and I know you where my guardian angel when I was in that car wreck..I look at the pictures of the car and there is no humanly way I survived, I didn't have my seat belt on and I believe you held me in my seat. I miss you the most and Grandma that's hard to say, I was holding your hand the day you passed and I know there is a reason it was me....We where so close if you where here today I would ask you so many questions just like I used to. I miss your advice..like what am I suppose to do with the rest of my life and how do I accomplish these things? You where always there when I needed to ask you a question, I miss coming over and talking for hours about life and fun things..I have so many fond memories..remember when I was around 10 how you would spend the day outside watching me doing flip flops outside, we pretended I was in the olympics and you would rate each tumble, back flip, etc... you gave me 10's when I did great and sometimes much less when I did bad..LOL, that was so much fun, I miss those carefree days!!!
If I could I would ask you why is mom treating me so bad, you where a great father to her and I know she could be like you if she wanted..I hope you whisper in her ear how much all that hurts me because I know you would never want to see me hurt..I could always count on you..I miss fishing with you we had so much fun catching perch all day and baiting those trout lines and running them at night, I love those memories..Grandpa a piece of me died the day you passed, I totally shut down but 3 months after I know you came to me in my dreams..(no one will ever convince me it was not really you) You had one of those hats on and walked right up to my bed and told me to go on with my life, that you would always be near but it was time to move on..I remember sitting up in my bed looking for you, then this calm came over me and I was able to smile again and move on..I miss your laugh and those silly hats you wore..you where so ornery..what pranks you didn't come up with I hope I can be just as good of a grandparent as the example's you sat for me...I remember your pity parties when you retired how you and grandma would get up and play cards till all hours of the night I know that was fun for you..I miss you playing the guitar for me..when I was little you bounced me on your knee while you played, I miss you so much!!!! But no one can take my memories away from me and I know someday..hopefully years from now it will be you I see first and you will help me transistion over and take me to God..Please continue to watch over me and the boys..oh how I wish they could have met you they where so little when you passed, they missed out on so much not being able to spend time with you, I named Kyle after you his middle name is "Onis" I know you know this and I love when I here people ask him his middle name and he tells them and they give him that look that your mom is weird but I know he is proud to carry your name...Also I want you to know that on Christmas day I still answer the phone "CHRISTMAS GIFT" that was so much fun for you I never understood it but I did it just the same you always called and beat me to it and your laugh made me smile so much I will never let that tradition go away..the boys do it now too..you where the smartest man I have ever known and I will love you forever, I have your picture right by my bed...I could go on and on about you and your jokes and the fun we used to have.....know your loved still today not just by me but my brothers and so many others that you touched in your life...I wish I had one more day with you!!! We would have so much to talk about and I know the day would pass by so fast but I would love it and believe you would too..I would want to hear you play that guitar and play cards and just talk..till we meet again someday know I will always have a special place in my heart for you that no one else will ever fill..I will love you forever!!! Oh and so you know when I sing kareoke..you do know i am the kareoke queen I always sing this one to you....and thanks for treating me like a princess when no one else ever did!!!
Your loving Granddaughter, Pamela
I bet you cried through that one. Those letters are so hard to write, but you feel so much better after getting it out. It is a very cathartic process. I don't know if it has been this way for you, but I didn't know how much I needed to write some of those letters until I wrote them. It was like letting go of something. Putting it down on paper was a way of releasing it I guess. Anyway, I believe you about your grandpa coming and visiting you so that you could let him go and move on. Great letter.
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